Conceived November 1965. Memory sketchy prior to this, although Shirley MacLaine might be able to help. Due late August 1966.
Life expectancy in March 1966 -0.5 years, following severe illness and 104F fever of mother. "Your baby cannot have lived." More chance of St Kilda winning a premiership.
Still kicking in April 1966; not one to believe expert scientific opinion. Condition unknown. Have exceeded life expectancy, so anything else is a bonus.
Further severe illness and fever in August and September 1966. Very late, and well cooked. Doctor awaits retreat of fever before going in for rescue. Fever refuses to retreat.
Saturday, 24 September 1966, St Vincent's Maternity Hospital, East Melbourne. Fever still high. Neither patient likely to live. Head sister demands doctor perform a Caesarian section or else she will have him replaced. Doctor cuts out baby 12:40 pm AEST.
Baby goes into a new "humidicrib". Doctor informs parents that baby may be brain damaged (hydrocephalus).
A couple of miles away, at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, the VFL Reserves Football Grand Final is being played (Richmond won). The doctor, a St Kilda supporter, misses the first half of the Grand Final against Collingwood.
Turns out baby just has a fat head. Everyone lives. Barry Breen boots a wobbly punt kick for a behind, putting St Kilda one point in front. The siren goes.
Copyright © 1994-1995 John P. Costella
(jpc@physics.unimelb.edu.au).
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